Confidence – to do it

01 Jul Confidence – to do it

Where confidence comes from

Self-confidence comes from within. Confidence is a feeling within you that makes you feel happy, self-assured and optimistic concerning your actions, decisions and content with life in general. You have a positive attitude about what is happening in your life or what you’re about to make something happen. You see the positive and feel energised because you are excited about life’s possibilities and potential opportunities. You have faith in your future and everything it contains and trusts that whatever happens there is a reason behind it.

Can confidence be learned?

Can confidence be learned? Everything in life is a learning experience, and confidence is no different. As a child, you learn to walk, and that builds confidence as you learn to pull yourself up to stand and then build the courage to take a few steps away from the security of a solid piece of furniture and step out into the unknown space towards a person who is encouraging you to walk in their direction.

While all character traits are innate when you were born, you still need to learn to strengthen them by practising them on numerous opportunities throughout your life.

As a young adult, you may need to be more confident in your decisions not to adhere to peer pressure and say no to things that you are not comfortable doing, even though your friends are doing or saying things that you are not satisfied with.

Confidence comes and goes

Nobody develops confidence and then it’s there within forever and a day. Confidence comes and goes continuously – for everyone. Everybody lacks confidence in some area of their life – it could be regarding their ability to do something – after all, no-one can do everything. Faith is lacking in an area that you are not familiar with – the more skilled you become at doing something, anything, the more confident you feel in that area.

How to build confidence

You can create your confidence by setting yourself goals and achieving them. This builds confidence gradually, slowly and surely. Your goals don’t need to be big, although they can be.

Firstly, you think of something you want to achieve. It could be to quit smoking, become fitter; get a new job; improve a relationship or achieve business objectives.

Secondly, decide what steps you need to take to achieve your goal. This might be a simple task such as setting the alarm to go for a walk; making a pact with a buddy or hiring a life coach. Don’t forget to consider the pros and cons of all your ideas. Making a pact with a buddy is excellent if the commitment is there on both sides, and your responsibility doesn’t end before the task is achieved. Hiring a life coach is more expensive but worthwhile if you obtain your goal (book in for a free session first to see if you’re compatible – just head to my website for a complimentary session with me). Do whatever it is you need to do because you know yourself and you know what will work best for you, and whether or not you need support or to be held accountable.

Thirdly, take the necessary action to achieve that goal. Do not give up. Be mindful that sometimes you might go off course for a variety of reasons. Life does, and will, get in the way. Get back on your path and consider whether or not you need a different strategy. There are many ways to achieve your goal, but the common denominator is you, your headspace and the action you take.

Confidence and repetition

What do you feel confident about at the moment? What do you not feel sure about at the moment? I suspect that you are confident regarding something you do well, or are knowledgable about. The same goes for things you aren’t optimistic about. Nobody is confident about topics they know little about or skills that they don’t have.

I have friends who love to play scrabble when we get together. I hated scrabble because I wasn’t confident about it. I made the decision that I wanted to improve my skills. I downloaded a scrabble app, and now I love to play it and surprise, surprise, the more I played, the better I became. Now I love to play scrabble as although I’m not brilliant at it. I am much more confident in my ability than I was previously.

The downside to confidence

Overconfident people may appear ‘cocky’. Cockiness is not something that is appealing to a lot of people even though you may be the best in the world. Being confident in your ability and boasting about it are two different things. When people are confident within themselves, it is a great feeling, you are like a magnet that attracts others, and others seek to learn from you. Some people can be so overconfident that they feel superior to others and treat others in a patronising manner. It’s always best practice to be humble and help others – be kind, be kind, be kind.