05 May Consideration
The other person’s wants and needs
So you know we’re all different, right? We are all born with different looks, we all have different experiences throughout our lives, we all have different things we’re interested in, we have different thoughts and different beliefs. So even though we know how come we react to people in the way that we like rather than what they want?
Out-of-body experience
When we consider the other person we are viewing things from an external perspective, we are recognizing their thoughts and feelings, not ours.
Additionally, when we consider people from the perspective of their preferences rather than our own, we create a better communication channel with them which enhances our relationship with them.
For instance, if you are a parent, childcare educator or teacher and have read the 5 Love Languages, you will understand that we all have our own love language and it is natural for us to express our love to others in our preferred love language. Couples who do not understand the 5 Love Languages, who do not share the same love language (as is the case for the majority of people) may have communication issues.
People feel they are saying or doing things to express their love for the other person but what they may fail to realize is that they are showing their preferred love language, not the person who is the recipient of their words and actions.
So have an out-of-body experience – consider the other person – what does it feel like from their shoes?
It’s the little things that count
All relationships benefit when you consider the other person who can be done in more way than one. Whether you are doing something like offering to go out of your way for a friend and drop something off, express your love by giving someone a hug although you’re not a physical touch love language person but you know they are, taking in your neighbour’s emptied garbage bins, sending a supportive text message when they’re going through a tough time.
Whatever it is you do, do it with them in mind. Put the other person first regardless of whether it’s something small or big.
Serious considerations
Serious issues don’t appear as big when you know your friends’ preferences. Recently I heard people discussing whether to tell a friend if their partner is cheating on them. At the end of the discussion, it was clear who wanted to be informed and who did not want to be told. The chat started off by people saying whether or not they would say to the person whether their partner was being loyal to them or no. What was interesting was that when the conversation started the actions that people were choosing whether or not to tell was based on their preferences, not the person in question.
The important thing is knowing
When you know people’s preferences, it takes away the worry and stress of what action to take. You do not lose sleep over what to do because you are aware of their wants and needs.
Knowing someone’s love language or personality style impacts your communication with them which consequently results in the closeness of a friendship or relationship.
The downside to consideration
Like all virtues, there is balance and moderation, and when you continuously consider other people and their feelings, wants and needs without considering your own, you will not feel good about others which you may feel resentful towards at times.
Most importantly, it is essential to consider your own needs first so that you can be your best self at all times. From this, if you’re happy, you can assist others to be happy too. Having said that, there are responsibilities that you take on as a parent or role model of children. There are times when you need to consider others first because it is conditional on your employment or position.
Finally, it is crucial to put you first when the opportunity arises. Make it happen, whether it be taking time to sit and read a book in the sun, going for a walk every morning, getting up 15 minutes early to meditate or do yoga. Whatever it is you need to be mindful of how you treat and react to others as well as yourself – be kind, be kind, be kind.
Lastly, if you’d like to join our tribe and focus on personal development by focussing on one characteristic a join please go to ‘Join Our Tribe’ on our front page – https://ethicalfoundations.com.au/
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