26 May Detachment – respond not react
Detachment and feelings
Detachment does not mean ignoring your feelings. Detachment means recognising then acknowledging your feelings and choosing not to let your emotions control your actions.
Detachment and control
There are numerous aspects of us as human beings. I like to think of us as little ‘PIES’, and all the pieces fit together to make us whole. There are four parts of us – Physical, Intellectual, Emotional and Spiritual. PIES.
Detachment is using your intellect to be self-aware according to how you are feeling and then choosing to respond in a manner which best serves you and the situation you find yourself in.
Respond not react
When you use your head, you are choosing who you want to be. This affects your physical aspect as your actions are determined through your intellect rather than your emotions. Your emotions are not you, they are something you are feeling at that time. When people allow their emotions to control them, they ignore the spiritual and intellectual side of themselves.
When people allow their emotions to control them, this may cause them to commit acts which are hurtful to others. This may cause interactions with others that include bullying, road rage, domestic violence and other negative behaviours.
Making wise choices
When you use your intellect to determine how you are going to react, rather than responding, which is more emotionally charged, you are deciding who you are and who you want to be. Detachment and other characteristics like kindness, respect, consideration and thoughtfulness are character qualities that you have within you, and although they are not seen in a sense, your physical actions are determined by your rational choices, and consequently, your efforts are seen in that sense.
Lack of detachment
When there is a lack of detachment, people act in a manner which doesn’t serve them best. I’ve heard people say that ‘this is me!’ and the outcome of their actions can be irrational and outspoken in a cruel way. People can still be honest and express themselves with tact. Emotions are not meant to be ignored, detachment is not dishonouring your feelings or emotions. Detachment means responding, so you honour other people’s feelings as well as your own.
Strengthening your mindset
When you focus on detachment, it affects your mindset. Your mindset is the most important thing you can continue to work on throughout your life. Your emotions, your feelings lead to thoughts in your head, different emotions means different ideas, different ideas lead to different actions and therefore, different outcomes.
By practising detachment, you react with wisdom. You understand who you are. You live with integrity. You know yourself, you’re happy with yourself, and you are content in your own skin. Practice detachment.
The downside to detachment
Like everything, there is a fine line with every spiritual aspect within you. While you need to use your head to think, and then act on, who you want to be and behave accordingly, you also need to be mindful of not being too detached from your feelings.
This can happen when you go through painful and hurtful situations in life, such as relationship breakdowns. As well as times when you were not being treated with respect, such as being degraded verbally or attacked physically. You need to be mindful of what behaviour is and is not acceptable.
Have boundaries to protect and distance yourself from hurtful behaviour by others. Also, be mindful of treating everyone else with respect and consideration. Concerning all people involved, the giving and receiving end, make sure the behaviour your display and are shown is kind – be kind, be kind, be kind.
Detachment story
There’s a story about a farmer, his son and a horse that is an example of detachment – the link is below
https://medium.com/@davidgallan/who-knows-what-s-good-or-bad-my-tedx-talk-transcript-8404344779ce
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