Parenting with flexibility is about finding a balance between guiding your child and allowing them to explore.

It’s about empowering them to make decisions within certain boundaries, which can be a powerful tool in their development.

Three things come to mind when I think of parenting and flexibility:

Empowering – When flexibility is appropriate

Boundaries – when flexibility is a non-negotiable

Who is running the show?

I will expand on these three things as I wasn’t sure what to write about, so I will briefly mention all three areas.

Empower

Sometimes, you can be flexible as a parent and empower your child by allowing them to make decisions.

Decision-making empowers children as they feel they have control over some aspect of their lives.

When you offer choices, you let them know which areas of life they can decide about.

As a parent, you play a crucial role in helping your child take control over minor aspects of their life.

When children are required to do something or have a problem they need to fix, it’s an opportunity for empowerment.

For example, as a parent, you can be flexible and ask your child if they would like a bath before or after dinner.

When given options, decision-making prepares them for more critical decisions in the future and instils a sense of responsibility and independence.

Additionally, children are likelier to respond more positively when they feel the choice is theirs.

Boundaries

They feel secure when boundaries are established for good reason and explained to children.

It’s important to let them know that there may be times when they won’t like what you say or do.

However, at these times, they need to be obedient and trust you to make the best decision.

Let them know that you may need to take them to the emergency department if they get really sick or are hurt.

Talk to your child about when and why people go to emergency departments so that if it ever happens, they have a basic awareness.

Let them know the importance of time in emergencies compared to a doctor’s office.

Let your child know how it all works and what’s happening.

Children, like adults, often fear the unknown, and you can eliminate or reduce their stress when they know what’s happening next and the reasons for it.

For example, they may be asked to stand on some weight scales to determine how much medicine their body needs.

When it comes to a child’s safety and health, parents need to establish a boundary, which is a clear line letting the child know about the decisions that the parents make to keep their child healthy and safe.

Talk to your child about your concerns, whether it be regarding their time online, what they can’t and can’t do online, using certain apps that concern you so you can also see what they’re up to, or letting you know if anyone is asking questions so you can get to know them rather than sticking to the task at hand (which might be a game).

Who rules?

Be clear about what choices your child can make and what decisions you can make. Set boundaries.

Children need to know the boundaries and how certain decisions can be made by them or you as their protector, caregiver, and guide.

Children may or may not like certain decisions, but if it’s something, you can be flexible with empowering them, such as if they’d prefer this or that. 

Let your child know your reasoning. Sharing is how they learn to understand.

Educating your child is beneficial for them as they start to develop their sense of values.

Remember, children will always test boundaries, and it’s crucial that there is unity when you co-parent.

Children will naturally go to the parent who will likely give them what they want.

As a parent, it’s easy to ask, ‘Did you ask (another parent?), and what did they say?’

That question lets your child know you’re in this together and have each other’s backs.

Whether your child likes it or not, they will learn to respect it.

And even admire it when they’re older and wiser.