13 Mar Self-discipline
Why it’s essential that your child learn self-discipline?
Do you ever feel like you are constantly disciplining your child?
Are you sick of it?
Especially when you & your parenting partner discipline them differently?
This is a common complaint I hear from parents. It can feel like you’re going around in circles of frustration. As a result, you and your partner, or co-parent, may argue. There may be a breakdown in the relationship.
This can negatively affect your kids. You feel a sense of tension when certain members of the family enter the house, and stress levels rise throughout.
There is a way to make life easier for everyone in your family, including you.
What if you taught your child how to discipline themselves?
Easier said than done, you say? Not necessarily.
OK, they might not discipline themselves all the time however, what if they did some of the time? That would be less frustrating for you. And better for your relationship with your co-parent.
As a parent, it’s up to you to help them grow and develop, and learn life lessons as they do so. It’s important to let them know they can learn to make their own decisions. You want them to make choices in life that benefit them, right?
Help them become independent, responsible adults. That is the result you’re aiming for, isn’t it?
Teaching your child about character traits helps them understand that they can make choices about their behaviour. This will empower them. They learn about choices, consequences and what they do and don’t have control over. They discover that they have control over their behaviour and that their thoughts are powerful because they contribute to their actions.
Some parents wonder whether discipline can be taught, and the answer is yes, it can. As you teach your child about all different sorts of character traits, and how each seemingly small trait has a massive impact they begin to understand how they impact the world.
Children are very flexible and quickly adapt to how they can use a particular character trait in numerous situations.
I recall a time when I was looking after a niece and nephew. Whenever I looked after them, I got them to select a character trait for that day.
I recall my nephew selected ‘self-discipline’ and then asked what it was. I then explained it to him at his level. He was barely older than a toddler.
I explained how it means not letting your emotions rule you and that you have a goal and stick to it. This explanation took place while I was driving him to a shopping centre. There was a particular shop I wanted to go to and that meant we had to pass his mother’s shop. I explained that self-discipline would be rather than running into his mother’s shop, we would walk directly to the shop I wanted to go to. We would wave hello, but not run into the shop if his mother saw us walk by.
We arrived at the shopping centre, and as we were about to walk past their mother’s shop, I reminded them we would wave, say hello, and that would be the extent of our interaction as we needed to walk directly to the other shop.
I noticed my nephew put his head down and watched his little legs walk on by, he was determined and committed to practising self-discipline. He did it!!
We went to the other shop, bought what I wanted to get and then sat on a bench nearby. I told him how proud I was of him, and now that he had done it once he could do it again – in reverse.
We headed back in that direction. As we passed their mother’s shop, she called out to us as she waved to her children. I called back that we can’t stop because we were practising self-discipline today and would talk later.
I later learnt that my sister-in-law phoned my brother (the parents) as she was amazed and so very proud, of their behaviour.
By explaining to children ways they can practice a character trait, they think of other ways they can apply it in their life.
They learn to think for themselves, make decisions and take action according to their choices. Every action has a reaction. Every action has a consequence. Even inactions do.
Character traits help your child discover who they are and, who they can become.
Each week I share a character trait of the week to focus on.
There is no negative consequence to teaching children about kindness, respect, justice, gratitude and so much more.
If you’d like to instil values in your child and help them grow up to be responsible adults who positively impact our world, I invite you to join my private FB group ‘Raising Kids With Integrity’ (bit.ly/RKWI-FBGroup).
In the group, you’ll pick up tools and resources to be the best parent you can be.
See you over there!
Yours in parenting success,
Trish
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